irish maths test!

[sparkle**]

Subject: FW: Irish Maths Test
Date: Thu, 28 Jul 2005 15:52:37 +0100
>
> >An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes
>
> >a little maths test. "Here's your first question, the foreman said
> >"Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the
>
> >Irishman says, "Dat is easy." and proceeds to draw three trees.
> >"What's this?" the boss asks.
> >"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the
> >Irishman.
> >"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the
> >same rules, but this time the number is 99."
> >The Irishman stares into space for awhile, then picks up the picture
> >that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
> >The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that
> >to represent 99?"
> >"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, dirty tree, and
> >dirty tree. Dat is 99."
> >The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire
> >this Irishman, so he says, "all right, last question. Same rules
> >again, but represent the number 100."
> >The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the
> >picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and
>says,
> >"Ere you go. One hundred."
> >The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that
> >represents a hundred!" The Irishman leans forward and points to the
> >marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog came along and
> >crapped by each tree.
>So
> >now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty
>tree
> >and
> >a turd, which makes one hundred.....So, when do I start?!"
> >
>
;D

[sparkle**]

NOTES FROM THOUGHTFUL RON??


It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.



My name is Ron......Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie. When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.



I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the BR club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door...



She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.



Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.



I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.



When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.



I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...




Signed,
Ron



EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly Thursday May 26. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II rammed up his backside, with only 2 inches of grip showing...His wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman Grand Jury accepted her defense that he accidentally sat down on it very suddenly.


i hope these make you laugh cos they did me!! ;D ;D

[John Pilling]

Nice 1 sparckle